Lady Gaga is one of those few special people that not only hurts my ears, but my eyes. A typical outfit for her consists of raiding the closet of an alien invader who’s about to spearhead a battalion of battleships racing toward Earth. Actually, taking this one step further, maybe she IS an alien. That would explain the screechy, repetitive, irritating technobop she records that the radio tells me is “music”. (FALSE.)
Trying too hard is never cool.
It’s the kind of techno beat that’s usually only popular in Europe (and not even just in gay clubs). They’re often remixes of songs that once were normal and possibly even catchy when Britney Spears sang them. It’s not entirely impossible that Lady Gaga just stole some recordings from Britney and made them bad.
The thing is, even if her songs weren’t bad, A) You can’t sing along, and B) Why would you want to? The list of things I want my neighbors hearing does not include “My poker face my p-poker face. My poker face my p-poker face. My poker face my…” You get the idea, and I’m starting to hate myself.
There’s absolutely no argument that anything Lady Gaga puts out is in any way decent – repeating yourself umpteen billion times with a beatboxer in the background does not a good song make. So where does she get off trying to be weird and artsy? If you actually have some talent, I’ll accept you acting a little weird (like, say, Michael Jackson and his fifteen nose surgeries). But trying to act like you’re stylish and interesting does not work when nobody really cares what you’re doing (like freaking out about the fact that you lost your favorite teacup. ~so artsy~).
In addition, pretending your lips are shorter than they actually are only adds to your attractiveness if you’re a geisha.
- Margo
i gotta say i lost MAD respect for Paris Hilton when she interviewed Lady Gaga and didn’t spit in her face
in other news, youtube is down so i cannot look up this shitty poker song OR link you the paris hilton video…
DIE IN A FIRE YOUTUBE
-Maria
If you want bad music, try having a recording studio in your basement that attracts teenaged rocker wannabees like cockroaches. Most of them couldn’t carry a tune if it had handles – sorry boys, but being able to scream like a cat attached itself to your crotch does not make you cool – and the feedback! *shudder* Thank God for earplugs!
Sounds like every high school/college battle of the bands I’ve ever been to
I do not envy you, C!
-Maria
She’s got Hocus Pocus Bette Middler lips!
Wow. Thank you for reminding me why I don’t even own a radio, let alone ever listen to it. Also, dang it, gay community, I know you had a hand in this, but really guys, let’s try to use our powers for good.
ALSO I would like to point out this awesome gem from the wikipedia on her:
Public Image
Gaga is a natural brunette, though her hair has not been its natural color since 2008. According to Times Online, her hair is dyed because as a brunette, she kept being mistaken for fellow singer-songwriter Amy Winehouse.
The best part of that song is when she says she’s bluffin’ with her muffin.
i agree with ben. write about something other than muffins, gaga. and i do think she may be an alien. oh my gosh, al those posts about people thinking aliens exist! they are true! )_)