Every so often, a special commercial is aired that makes you sit up and take notice. You grab a paper and pen and write down the name of the company… So you can remember to ask Satan to curse their firstborn during your next ritual goat sacrifice.
Progressive Insurance has one of these commercials. Let me explain to you what happens in a typical Progressive commercial:
1. A guy innocently looking for insurance wanders around a big white room
2. A woman whose voice is the only thing bigger than her hair comes up and starts harassing him
3. She introduces herself as Flo, and now you are forced to associate her not only with criminal intent but also with periods
4. Flo tells the poor sap how much he’ll save with Progressive Insurance, because geckoes are evil
5. The guy agrees to just buy the insurance if she’ll leave him alone
6. Flo gets one last “witty” comment in, thus ensuring that the commercial won’t end without you banging your head against the nearest flat surface
Anyone who hasn’t heard these commercials (although to not have heard them, you’d have to either be living in the stone age or deaf) might think I was exaggerating on just how annoying Flo’s voice is. Not so. It’s more grating than Matthew McConaughey doing his whole chewing gum/speaking thing or hearing Pink talk about political activism. And like most people with annoying voices, Flo sounds TOTALLY SHOCKED by just about everything.
The only good thing about the economic recession is that Progressive Insurance’s sales have probably gone down.
NV/R,
Margo
I was hoping this would come up eventually. Just so that I can say, I’d totally hit that.
You also said you’d hit Mia Carruthers…
Damn Margo…you went there…
“It’s more grating than Matthew McConaughey doing his whole chewing gum/speaking thing or hearing Pink talk about political activism.”
ABSOLUTELY. I have long since found Pink to be as annoying as woman studies majors, but I have only recently realized how USELESS Mathew McConaughey is. (Also, I’m sure you had to google how the hell to spell his name).
Out of all of the names, they had to choose the ONLY name associated with menstrual cycles. Explain to me how Aunt Flo can compete with the refreshingly witty cavemen commercials.
NV/R,
Maria
p.s. good to have you back
Maria, how can you only recently have realized how useless McConaughey is? This must have come up at some point during simulations; he is the bane of my existence. I would listen to a full lady gaga song every day for a year in exchange for his demise. Maria, I would even watch MTV.
HAHA