Alright, let’s face it. If there is one thing that should never have been invented, it is without question the bumper sticker. All bumper stickers fall into one of three categories:
- The Political Statement: These get the first mention of honor as they are generally the most annoying. Mostly these bumper stickers are “Peas on Earth” or “Obama 08″ stickers that are put on crookedly by college students; apparently liberal views mean a lack of motor control. Of course, the further you get out into the country, the more you will see of the other spectrum of the PBS(Political Bumper Sticker). This includes, “It’s for God to judge the terrorists; it’s for me to kill them”, and “Vegetarian is an ancient Indian word for bad hunter”. I knew there was a reason we liked them hicks.
- The My-Student-Doesn’t-Suck: Ugh, we all know a mom who has one of these. Basically they tell you that their kid is either an honor student (sleeping with the teacher) or on swim/dive/underwater basket weaving. They’re pointless and obnoxious because nobody gives a crap what your brilliant little darling does as long as BLD stops tailgating us.
Well done.
- The Useless Memory: These aren’t quite as annoying as the first two, yet are even more pointless. They’re stickers from various countries or beaches that trick natives of said countries into asking about the car owner’s heritage. These stickers occasionally take the form of dog silhouettes from back when you were excited about getting little Poochy (before you realized that he’ll live over 10 years).
Guess you had a good time in Palm Springs.
If you have a bumper sticker on your car, take it off. If it’s crooked… There’s just no helping you, is there?
NV/R,
Margo
dig us // facebook // myspace // twitter
Hi Margo. You’re right on target with the bumper sticker syndrome. I’ve never had one. Although I was thinking about getting one that said, “whyisthispopular.com rocks!” …would that be wrong?
WITP is ALWAYS the exception to the rule
NV/R,
Margo
I’m pretty sure that one car with all the school sports bumper stickers is fake (although one cannot be certain in this day and age…). However, I find it funny how you can identify certain people’s vehicles by their stickers (Oh, it’s that guy, because he has the ______ sticker on his car).
Awesome weblog guys, keep it up! (and thanks for linking me!)
the Patient
Unclassy. Honk if you love jesus? Bugged me the most.
it must be some sort of a rule that if you are wiccan you need 10 bumper stickers to prove it