Most of the words that come out of Mike aka THE SITUATION and Snooki’s mouths are foreign to anyone with non-orange skin. Since the Jersey Shore is not going away anytime soon (please God let there be a second season), I’ve taken it upon myself to teach you all Guidobonics. For example, guidobonics (n) – the language all orange, juiced up guidos speak.
However, the purpose of this article is to explain the word “heated,” which is used about 7289 times in episode 5. For example, Vinnie (more or less) said “we were all heated when Snooki got punched in the face.”
What does that mean, though? The temperature was high? They were catching the flu? No, heated is in fact the most complex word in all of Guidobonics.
Heated (n) – being heated essentially means that you don’t have the balls to do anything about the situation besides yell across the parking lot to someone already detained by the cops. More importantly, heated implies that you will hit every single wall, garage, curb, mailbox, and trashcan for the following hour. So, when the Jersey Shore guys say they were heated when Snooki got punched, it means they watched her get punched and pretended to have her back after the cops had already got the guy that punched her. Bravo!
[edit:] Apparently when Ronnie gets heated, he actually beats the shit out of some 30 year old. From this moment on, when I say “the Jersey Shore boys” I mean everyone but Ronnie, who is actually a man. [/edit]
NV/R,
Maria
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I believe that this revelation in guidobonics is a lesson that everyone can learn from. TAKE NOTICE, LIBERAL ARTS MAJORS: There’s another minority you can suck up to now.
NV/R,
Margo