After watching an entire season of LA Ink on Netflix, I have developed some strong opinions on tattoos. I usually don’t waste my time telling the masses this, but take my criticisms/personal opinions with a grain of salt. I have personally been attacked for my own decisions and witnessed people be chewed out over their own piercings or tattoos. While it is exceedingly annoying to listen to ignorant people put in their 2 cents like I could give a rat’s ass, it’s their right to disagree with how you’ve chosen to mutilate (and yes, piercings and tattoos are mutilations) your body.
In my (not so) humble opinion, if you hate someone’s tattoos or piercings, don’t tell them. They will not respect your opinion, especially once they’ve already gone under the needle. You will only alienate them and remind them why they don’t like close-minded, pushy people. Instead, you should
- talk about them behind their back to your friends
- not get a similar tattoo or piercing
- write a passive-aggressive entry about it on your blog that has reached over 100,000 people in less than a year
First off, let’s talk about the point of a tattoo. I can think of only two “reasons” to get a tattoo. First, because it looks cool/beautiful. Second, to remind yourself of something every single day for the rest of your life. Everything else falls under those two categories. If you don’t want permanent ink on your body to remind you of something, it’s only because you want to be cool or you think it’ll be nice to look at.
Having said this, it seems obvious to me that you can accomplish either of these two goals through jewelry or your personal style. Example #1: “I want to remind myself to have faith by tattooing it onto my wrist” (original…) is easily solved by wearing a cross necklace or another piece of jewelry that represents your faith. Example #2: “I want some stars because they’re really cool and super original.” Solution: just kill yourself. Anyone stupid enough to tattoo something as dumb as a star to their body isn’t worth the oxygen they breath. If for some reason you value your (what I’ve already demonstrated to be) worthless life and still are so obsessed with a couple of stars for aesthetic value or nostalgia for some children’s book, buy a necklace/shirt/purse/bracelet/ring/earrings/etc… Don’t worry, you’ll still look incredibly unoriginal and your personality won’t get any better, just as with the tattoo!!
Now for that classic finger-pointing you’ve all been waiting for… I actually have the pleasure misfortune of knowing a “musician” (i.e. little to no musical talent) who decided to get a treble clef and bass clef tattooed to his “bicep” (the douchiest of all douchy tattoo placements). The beautiful part about it is that despite this highly creative homage to music, he couldn’t even get into the music program of a public college… dommage!!
mozart had the exact same thing on his ribs!!!!!
I guess it just goes to show that you can tattoo the word “personality” on someone’s body but it’s not going to give them any…
NV/R,
Maria
Please tell me you are talking about a certain someone at a shitty Virginia school known commonly as “Matt the douche.”
Question: who are you and how are you so wise?
NV/R,
Maria
I went to the same school last year and hung out with him when he was still with his girlfriend, who is much cooler.
hahaha I wonder if we’re friends with the same girlfriend… how’d you find the blog?
NV/R,
Maria
grace! she’s the one who showed me the blog.
ah yes… we’ve heard tales of this awesome girl who has maybe dated a douchebag or two…
NV/R,
Maria
Wow, small world. Douchebags everywhere can be recognized and ridiculed by even more people!
Great post; all true points. You scared me a little with the seriousness, but you brought it back home.
NV/R,
Margo
LOL! Saw your link in AW & was so intrigued by the title that I had to stop by. Fantastic idea for a blog. I particularly love your advice to talk behind their backs.
I remember this discussion hahaha