Reason #51 why the DMV (DC/Maryland/Virginia) is better than any other part of the US: Teenage Werewolves. Teen “wolf packs” are terrorizing loitering around San Antonio shopping malls and calling all sorts of attention to themselves. Totally unlike the been-there-done-that vampire fad started by Satan’s Bible (known on the New York Times Bestsellers list as Twilight), teenage werewolves wear wolf-like contact lenses, fake tails, chains, gothy lipstick, and (oh wait) fangs. Potato, potato?
Stephenie Meyer (who apparently has just as much difficult spelling the name Stephanie as she does writing a novel) is probably tenting her fingers like Mr. Burns and plotting the demise of all human beings born after 1989. Instead of growing in adult humans, these kids are desperately trying to transform in wolves in whatever way possible. The physical transformation is obviously almost complete with a pair of goth bondage pants. To me, nothing screams Benicio del Toro the Wolfman than some black studded pants from Hot Topic. However, like the douchey vampire kids in South Park, teenage werewolves must taste blood. DOG BLOOD!
These kids don’t need encouragement from child psychologists that got their diploma from the back of a cereal box, they need a harsh dose of reality. They are not exactly “fitting in” or “finding their identity.” They are playing with dark magic! We are at risk of the Hellmouth moving from Sunnydale to San Antonio. Sarah Michelle Gellar can’t save us this time, she’s too busy raising her kid not to be a douchey teenage werewolf! Our best plan of action is to remove funding from trivial pursuits (like putting a lid on the Gulf oil gusher) and focusing government efforts on putting an end to this madness.
NV/R,
Maria
Even a man who is pure in heart and says his prayers by night, may become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms and the autumn moon is bright.
I love how in the video the girl says that gangs just want attention and they don’t when she has a fucking tail attached to her back
Stealing a neighbors dog and decapitating it is also not a cry for attention…
NV/R,
Maria
I have detected a comment thief… or maybe I just lack creativity.
NV/R,
Margo
I love the interview of the mother blatantly rejecting this kids way of life, yet, trying to justify it too…. this “pack” is so retarded I can’t find the correct way to explain the way it makes me feel, towards societies retards aka Twilight followers
bahahahahahahah yes
Much like Paris Hilton, once you stop paying attention to these kids they go and find something better to do. That video was hysterical though.
NV/R,
Margo
Uh…Wow.
So basically they’re scene furfags. Lol. Twilight fanbase. This is the degenerate problem. The kids will either grow up and realize how lame this is, they’re gonna try to forget it.
…Or they’re gonna continue and live pointless lives.
I am a teenage manwolf who can’t deal with my ambiguous sexuality. Should I shop at hot topic? Or does that reduce me to cliche? My divorced parents say I am goofy.
“Stephenie Meyer (who apparently has just as much difficult spelling the name Stephanie as she does writing a novel) is probably tenting her fingers like Mr. Burns and plotting the demise of all human beings born after 1989. ”
Can we talk about how awesome the imagery is here? I lol’d.