Posts Tagged 'Farrah 16&Pregnant'

Teen Mom

Despite the snazzy new name change, Teen Mom is offering us up the same pain and suffering it was last season – and believe me, we’re taking it all in.

Farrah has been getting mad at her mom and sister for calling her a bad mom, yet refuses to get up in the morning to feed her own baby. Then she yells at her mom for coming into her room in the morning to take care of her kid. Excellent parenting and daughtering in one go! Only Farrah could do it this well.  She also insists on staying on birth control, which wouldn’t really be an issue except she insists on going out with friends constantly and bitching whenever she can’t. It’s like she’s a single teen mom!

Maci, who is (much to our relief) actually a good mother, is having issues with Ryan. You remember Ryan – basically having a kid was an excuse for him to get a giant tattoo of the word “Bentley”.  Ryan’s an on-and-off dickwad, but he seems to sort of pull it together when Maci moves out and begs her to come back. Ooooh, but then he manages to pull it back together and accuses her of dropping all her classes because she’s “lazy as ****”. This from the guy who can’t seem to get a job, regardless of Maci taking care of his child 24/7.

Catelynn and Tyler are having issues because their parents suck. Following them has basically zero to do with their baby, but it’s okay because they’re suffering anyway. Catelynn’s mom moves away with Tyler’s dad, and Catelynn wants to stay behind to be with Tyler. That works out okay because Catlelynn’s mom doesn’t even care that her daughter isn’t coming; but then Tyler decides to join the Air Force. Bad timing. But then Catelynn and Tyler have an adorable conversation about staying together while he’s in the Air Force, and once again they become the most likeable couple.

Watching Amber is like watching your mom bitch at you for not cleaning your room/walking the dog/putting your feet on the table… for 20 minutes straight.

Despite not having either a job of any sort or attempting to get an education, Amber whines 24/7 about how stressed she is and how much Gary sucks as a human being, even though is obviously the second coming of Mother Theresa for putting up with Amber. In spite of not having any money, Amber continues to book hotel rooms and try to find a house. Oh wait, my tax dollars are going to pay for her to get an apartment?! Fantastic. As for her unfortunate child, you watch it wander off constantly and just hold your breath, hoping she’s not going to fall through a window.

Two of the couples on the last season (wisely) decided not to exploit their children expose their lives on the air.  I salute those braves souls, and can only say that we hope there will be a third season.

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NV/R,

Margo

Life After Labor: 16 & Pregnant

“Girls, put up your hands if you didn’t use a condom.” And every hand goes up.

This was the 16 & Pregnant finale, hosted by the incredibly annoying Dr. Drew. He grilled all of the 16 & Pregnanters except for Catelynn and Tyler, who he was very happy with for giving their kid up for adoption. The main topics of discussion raised were condoms, and how much Maci’s boyfriend sucked.

Maci’s boyfriend came around and started manning up and not being as much of a jerk as he was when she was pregnant. It was surprising and nice to see that, but Dr. Drew wasn’t happy; oh no. He made Maci go back in time and tell her boyfriend that she was angry at him for things he did ages ago. How is that constructive? Is Dr. Drew a real doctor? 

Actually, Dr. Drew was dead-set on giving everyone a Freud makeover. Questions like, “Whose idea was it to have sex without a condom?” and, “Does he treat you well NOW?” were frequent. Dr. Drew was just determined to make everyone on this show unhappy. Dude, they already have babies as teenagers! Let it go!

baby

Besides condoms, the other unpopular choice among this crowd was breastfeeding. Everybody stopped breastfeeding after a couple weeks because it hurt (well, we already knew that Farrah did! Wouldn’t want to be less than pert). Farrah continued to bemoan her lack of boyfriend, but surprisingly enough, all the other couples were still together (Ebony and Josh actually got married). There was no comment on whether Farrah’s mom had been exorcised yet.

All of the teens made sure to emphasize that pregnancy as a teenager isn’t glamorous, but all of the teen boys clarified that sex without a condom IS better. They didn’t like having the babies much, though.

NV/R,

Margo

16 & Pregnant: Season 2 Announced!

MTV, you knew we hated The Hills, so you booted off LC and replaced her (ouch!). You knew we loved trainwrecks, so you showed us reruns of Parental Control every single day when we were supposed to be going to class. Then you saw the joy we derived from 16 & Pregnant (from not so useless mothers like Maci to utter morons Farrah and her mother Debra).

Proof that there is a God

This is when you agreed to give us moar… six pilot episodes were not enough. We want to see more struggling unwed teenage mothers. We want blood, sweat, tears, and awkward dinner conversation about not using a condom. Everything but the actual birth (whoever can honestly call it a miracle is kidding themselves… those kids come out looking like angry aliens with AIDS).

Thank you for renewing 16 and Pregnant! In return, we promise to write about every little floozy that cannot keep her legs shut AND her psychotic family/baby daddy… free of charge! For once, you didn’t suck.

NV/R,

Maria

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GYT

MTV always has some annoying preachy commercials running that try to be hip/rad/totally hot dude. (Remember Pink and the movement to get young’uns to vote?) Unfortunately, by virtue of being preachy, MTV fails at being much of anything except irritating.

The GYT commercials stole in quietly and over time, I became more curious as to what exactly was going on (sort of like getting an STD…?). There would be these black backgrounds with rapidly changing words in bright colors, and then at the end it said GYT in huge letters.

Ruining my merriment

Ruining my merriment

What could GYT mean?! I asked.

For a long time, I simply dreamed. Maybe it was an underground political campaign (underground? on MTV? perhaps not my brightest thought). Maybe it stood for Gorge Your Turkey (it’s never too early for an AMURICAN holiday like Thanksgiving). Maybe there was going to be a new edition of True Life (much like that blessing of our time, 16 & Pregnant).

Alas, it was not to be. Finally I either actually watched the commercial or looked it up, and discovered the ugly truth: MTV was blighting my TV-watching time with STD commercials.

Of course, Soulja Boy and Perez Hilton lend credibility to any cause:

Isn’t this what those stupid Trojan commercials with gonnorhea gifting were for? We get it; STDs are bad; don’t re-gift. Fine. But inundating us with messages about getting a swab shoved up you-know-where is interfering with my blithe enjoyment of trash TV and making me angry.

The real tragedy of STDs is that apparently they make you illiterate.

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NV/R,

Margo

16 & Pregnant: Farrah’s Evil Mother

We’ve already seen our share of crazy morons on MTV reality shows, but none of us were prepared for the ultimate Antichrist aka Farrah’s mom Debra. Debra is easily the most useless, pathetic, and “awfulest” (thank you Whitney, evidentally being a pregnant teenager comes hand in hand with a Shakespearean vocabulary!) mother of all time. This clearly includes all of the new mothers we’ve met this season on 16 & Pregnant even considering the fact that Farrah refuses to breast feed (despite the obvious need to protect a newborn from disease) as it may make her tits sag.

Debra actually agreed with this

Debra actually agreed with this

Debs has a list of incredible skills: looking like a tranny, styling her hair like Farrah Fawcett (RIP), and hitting her teenager while screaming like a banshee. Flaws (though few and far between) include being too immature to hear a Q/A about childbirth between her daughter and the doctor, being unable to watch her granddaughter’s birth, being unable to call Farrah’s father (ex-husband?) after Farrah’s water broke, hating Ford Focuses, and refusing to help Farrah with Sophia (Farrah’s baby girl).

At this point you should be like hold up, time out… rewind to that last one. Yeah… her mom flat out said that she would not help AT ALL with Sophia. Reasoning? “I need my sleep.” WOW. Mom of the year award, right here. Step aside Kate Gosselin.

NV/R,

Maria

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[EDIT:]Domestic abuse between Farrah and Debra ensues involving baby Sophia! Now are you going to argue that they’re great mothers?? [/EDIT]


Thought of the Day

Why is it called an outfit if your clothes are supposed to help you fit in?
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