Despite the snazzy new name change, Teen Mom is offering us up the same pain and suffering it was last season – and believe me, we’re taking it all in.
Farrah has been getting mad at her mom and sister for calling her a bad mom, yet refuses to get up in the morning to feed her own baby. Then she yells at her mom for coming into her room in the morning to take care of her kid. Excellent parenting and daughtering in one go! Only Farrah could do it this well. She also insists on staying on birth control, which wouldn’t really be an issue except she insists on going out with friends constantly and bitching whenever she can’t. It’s like she’s a single teen mom!
Maci, who is (much to our relief) actually a good mother, is having issues with Ryan. You remember Ryan – basically having a kid was an excuse for him to get a giant tattoo of the word “Bentley”. Ryan’s an on-and-off dickwad, but he seems to sort of pull it together when Maci moves out and begs her to come back. Ooooh, but then he manages to pull it back together and accuses her of dropping all her classes because she’s “lazy as ****”. This from the guy who can’t seem to get a job, regardless of Maci taking care of his child 24/7.
Catelynn and Tyler are having issues because their parents suck. Following them has basically zero to do with their baby, but it’s okay because they’re suffering anyway. Catelynn’s mom moves away with Tyler’s dad, and Catelynn wants to stay behind to be with Tyler. That works out okay because Catlelynn’s mom doesn’t even care that her daughter isn’t coming; but then Tyler decides to join the Air Force. Bad timing. But then Catelynn and Tyler have an adorable conversation about staying together while he’s in the Air Force, and once again they become the most likeable couple.
Watching Amber is like watching your mom bitch at you for not cleaning your room/walking the dog/putting your feet on the table… for 20 minutes straight.
Despite not having either a job of any sort or attempting to get an education, Amber whines 24/7 about how stressed she is and how much Gary sucks as a human being, even though is obviously the second coming of Mother Theresa for putting up with Amber. In spite of not having any money, Amber continues to book hotel rooms and try to find a house. Oh wait, my tax dollars are going to pay for her to get an apartment?! Fantastic. As for her unfortunate child, you watch it wander off constantly and just hold your breath, hoping she’s not going to fall through a window.
Two of the couples on the last season (wisely) decided not to exploit their children expose their lives on the air. I salute those braves souls, and can only say that we hope there will be a third season.
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Margo
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