When I was in elementary school, I had the kind of art teacher that would mash up your clay pot and make you redo it “the right way.” At the time I resented the way she stifled my creative mind, but now I think I understand. As I reminisced about the good old days, I thought about our 10,000 lessons on prints. Now for those of you that are slower in the morning, a print is when you draw up some shitty image (like a piece of fruit) and keep printing it over and over again in different colors and on different paper and shit like that. It can look interesting and all, but in the end all you did was reproduce some image a bunch of times. Look, I don’t care that my douchebag art history ex-roommates were doing that shit at the “college level,” a retard could do it.
Now stick with me here… when I took my little frog stamp and printed it in four different colors on construction paper, I didn’t become a goddamn icon of an “art movement.” Somehow, Andy Warhol’s mind-bogglingly simple “art” (aka bullshit in different colors) has become a staple to to the typical asshole artsy college kid’s poster collection. Basically, having some picture of a coke can in four colors says something like “I am so f-ing original I can hardly fit it all into my facebook profile.”
Everywhere you go, more douchebags have bought a ticket to the “Suck Andy Warhol’s Dick” train. I feel like I can’t go a day without seeing one of his played out prints on a bag or a t-shirt (especially is a city, aka breeding grounds for wanabe artsy posers who are going nowhere in life). THANK GOD Apple also hopped aboard the iDouchebag bandwagon and made it so anyone can look as original and artsy as Warhol intended them to be!
I’m going to say this once for all you clowns out there to hear: THE USE OF PRIMARY COLORS DOES NOT MAKE YOU INTERESTING OR COOL. Every time I see the Andy Warhol poster on your wall, it just reaffirms the fact that I should hate you and that you will die alone. I hope you choke on your “culture.”
NV/R,
Maria
[EDIT] You should all check out the first comment on this blog because it’s actually either one of my ex-roommates or another bitch in my sorority. Apparently, she even thinks I’m a gem! thanks Katie Dixon!
Well, I never get tired of shout outs either!!!!!! [/EDIT]
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